October 2020 #tarotholics Challenge

[sammywhatammy]

🌙✨ Day 1: “what do I need to focus on for self-care this full moon?” Knight of Pentacles, Justice reversed, Ace of Swords reversed. I need to go slow and steady, focusing on the physical realm some more and doing earthly self-care. in the mental realm, I’m clouding my thoughts by trying to do too much, and I’m being dishonesty with myself about how much I can do without burning out.

🌙✨ Day 2: “what is my relationship with my ancestors at this time?” Three of Cups reversed, The Star reversed, The High Priestess reversed. it’s hidden from me and we aren’t connecting, mostly from my side. there’s a sadness from them; a despair and disconnection because of the silence between us. I’m going it alone without them.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that all these cards depict AFAB people, either. so it’s mostly the women in my ancestry trying to communicate?

🌙✨ Day 3: “what needs my attention in the past, present, and future?” Nine of Swords/Page of Wands/Five of Pentacles reversed.
my past is colored deeply by my years of non-functional depression. there’s still fallout from that lost time that I need to confront and deal with.
the present is full of wonder and passion. I have limitless potential.
my future doesn’t look good. I’m being warned against burnout; against spiritual poverty from giving up on this journey, even temporarily.


🌙✨ Day 4: “how can I mitigate my oncoming depression?” Nine of Cups reversed, Page of Pentacles reversed, The Moon reversed. I need to remember my passions, take joy from the divine, and let myself be in my emotions.

🌙✨ Day 5: “forgive/accept/honor” Six of Pentacles/The World reversed/Knight of Pentacles reversed. forgive myself for my overspending, even if some of it was charitable, accept that I might not accomplish everything I want to this month and that my spiritual journey is only just beginning, honor self-discipline.

🌙✨ Day 6: “what positive theme/event in my ancestral past do I need to acknowledge?” Temperance reversed. that there was much self-healing? or re-alignment?

🌙✨ Day 7: “does fate exist?” Four of Pentacles. they’re going to keep that close to their chest, apparently 🤣

🌙✨ Day 8: “how can I embrace positive influences carried forward from my ancestors?” Nine of Wands. through hard-won victory?

🌙✨ Day 9: “listen/process/release” Six of Swords reversed/Five of Wands/Page of Wands. listen to what I’m still carrying as burdens, process my inner conflict, release my ideas of being free of these things.

🌙✨ Day 10: “what negativity in my ancestral history is it time to let go of in the present?” Queen of Wands reversed. a lack of confidence, self-respect, passion.

🌙✨ Day 11: spread
1. Bat - Awareness/Endings: "what is ending at this time that needs my awareness/focus?" The Lovers. harmony is ending. maybe if I do my shadow work? or is it talking about my bipolar depression coming up? some discord in a relationship? clarification: Five of Wands reversed. inner conflict. hmmm. shadow work after all? unsure.
2. Calendula - Love/Constancy - "who is a loving constant in my life that needs a bit more recognition?" The World. myself. I have loved myself all along, even in my darkest times - through Chibiusa. I've always had a strong sense of self, and I've known for many years that I'm amazing, and even believed it sometimes. I've come so far and need to celebrate myself more and be more proud. also Mom? I think?
3. Owl - Trust/Knowledge: "what do I need to know right now to trust that I'm on the right path?" Three of Cups. I have people behind me and beside me, supporting me and loving me unconditionally.
4. Rosemary - Protection/Memory: "what memory in my past needs revisiting to guide me to my future safely?" Queen of Pentacles. I need to remember my kind, nurturing mom. before she went crazy. I need to remember when she's kind and nurturing now, giving gifts to show me that she loves me.
5. Black Cat - Risks/Independent Thought: "where is conformity more of a risk than independent thought?" Page of Cups. when I'm getting intuitive messages. if I write them off, if I discredit them to others, I'll likely regret it somehow.
6. Wormwood - Crossing the Veil/Protection: "during this time when the veil is thin, what needs my protection?" Knight of Swords reversed. my restless, unfocused mind. I need to take better care of my priorities, my time, and the limits of my mental energy.
7. Raven - Rebirth/Curiosity: "where can sating my curiosity lead to the rebirth of something I've lost?" Ten of Cups reversed. clarification: King of Cups, Nine of Cups reversed. I'm emotionally dissatisfied? but emotionally balanced??? maybe something about Stevi??? idk

🌙✨ Day 12: "how can I best release negativity that was passed down from my ancestors to me?" The Star, Knight of Wands reversed, The Lovers. with hope and spiritual connection. if I go inward, I'll find harmony within myself, with them, and communicate with them.

🌙✨ Day 13: "Me/My Current Path/Potential Outcome" Two of Swords, The Moon, Three of Pentacles. I'm at a difficult choice, weighing me down, and there's something I'm avoiding. clarification: Ace of Cups. I'm avoiding my emotions. I want to be able to reach them again but I'm afraid of the pain I'll have to go through to do it. I'm full of fear and anxiety. it'll lead to some sort of collaboration; maybe with a new psychologist, and/or the instructors of the shadow work courses.

🌙✨ Day 14: "Philosophical Question - where do I find meaning in my life?" The Star, Knight of Pentacles, Eight of Wands. in hope, in magic, in spirituality. in hard work and productivity and steady progress. in fast action and swift leaps of progress.

🌙✨ Day 15: "draw or write something free-form inspired by the cards" Nine of Cups, Queen of Cups reversed, Queen of Swords reversed, The Devil, The World. if I become satisfied with what I have and show myself self-love, I may be able to remove the harmful coping mechanism that is the bonds around my heart and mind. I'll find fulfillment and completion.

🌙✨ Day 16: "what do I need to focus on for self-care during this new moon?" remove thought, remove earthly concern. give myself compassion and nurture myself; go inwards and discover.

🌙✨ Day 17: "what needs to be revealed/concealed/discarded?" Eight of Swords reversed/The High Priestess/Strength reversed. my limiting beliefs and inner critic/conceal my intuition from others; be quieter about my personal transformation and journey/self-doubt

🌙✨ Day 18: "draw three cards about a topic or question of your choice?" I have no question. Knight of Wands, Six of Pentacles reversed, Knight of Pentacles reversed. I need to stop giving charitably and be more conservative with my money.

🌙✨ Day 19: "energy I'm emitting/energy I'm attracting/what to do about it?" The Devil reversed/Six of Swords reversed/Three of Cups. I'm thinking dark thoughts (whispers of depression; wanting to do shadow work/unfinished business; trauma I haven't dealt with/therapy.

🌙✨ Day 20: "what echoes from the past are trying to resurface for me now?" Page of Swords, Two of Wands, Ten of Pentacles reversed, Four of Pentacles reversed, Temperance reversed. that I was a young, brave, adventurous child who was ruined by the greed and corruption of my wealthy, cowardly father. it has led to a massive imbalance in myself all of my life.

🌙✨ Day 21: "Philosophical Question - how important is play in living a healthy and fulfilling life?" Four of Wands reversed, The Empress, King of Pentacles, Nine of Wands reversed, Knight of Pentacles reversed. for personal satisfaction and joy, to nurture oneself like a mother, to secure oneself like a father, to expand and renew one's inner resources and be ready to tackle the next battle, and prevent boredom.

🌙✨ Day 22: "how can I safely explore echoes of the past that are trying to get my attention?" Ten of Wands reversed, Three of Swords reversed, Six of Pentacles, Nine of Pentacles, Three of Wands. release pain and forgive those I helped without expectation of return, but who spurned me. be self-sufficient and expand.

🌙✨ Day 23: "a problem/what action to take/what to wait on" time management/use my energy to work on it/re-establish my sense of self?

🌙✨ Day 24: "what positive generational gift has been passed down to me from my ancestors?" The Moon reversed, The Sun reversed, The Magician reversed, The Fool, Three of Swords reversed. ?????????????? release of fear to help my inner child? untapped talents... innocence and freedom from pain, forgiveness?

🌙✨ Day 25: spread.
1. Smoky Quartz - Ground/Detoxify: "how can I best purge negativity from my life and develop greater stability?" Two of Cups. partnership. with Gerry, with Jack, with Gavin, with my psychologist.
2. Apple - Insight/Good Health: "what insight is needed to improve my physical health at this time?" Nine of Cups reversed. be happy with my body as it is? express dissatisfaction about thyroid and appetite?
3. Chrysanthemum - Spiritual Defense and Protection: "where do my defenses need bolstering to foster my growth?" Ace of Pentacles. the divine protecting the earthly? angels? rituals? spirit guides? ancestors? Pappap? I think angels.
4. Aquamarine - Calm/Courage: "in what ways can meditation bolster my confidence by promoting my calm in my life?" Death reversed. it'll help my personal transformation and inner purging.
5. Mint - Love/Cleansing: "what factors in my relationships need re-evaluation and perhaps adjusting?" Temperance. balance and patience. I need to be patient about Stevi and Holly.
6. Carnelian - Creativity/Vitality: "in what ways can including more creativity in my life lighten my daily outlook?" Page of Wands reversed. redirects my energy towards my spiritual path.
7. Pomegranate - Fertility/Wishes: "what wish of mine is ready to be manifested into reality at this time?" success, financial security, financial abundance, $25mil from my father please?????

🌙✨ Day 26: "what healing lesson is waiting for me to realize and accept it?" Five of Wands reversed, Ace of Swords reversed, The Devil, Three of Cups, The Fool reversed. I need to deal with my mental inner conflict and trauma, and work with my shadow self to not fall off of the metaphorical cliff.

🌙✨ Day 27: "my strength/my weakness/advice" Ace of Cups/King of Swords/Death reversed. emotionally, my cup overflows. I have support from the divine, from my spirit guides, from my ancestors. I have support here on the physical plane. emotionally, I'm doing wonderfully. however, I'm lacking inner clarity on many of my issues that are unresolved. I need to go through a personal transformation and purge that which no longer serves me.

🌙✨ Day 28: "Philosophical Question - does one's name influence the person they become?" Three of Pentacles, Two of Wands reversed, Three of Wands reversed, The Fool reversed, Eight of Cups. yes. it's like a collaboration between the earthly and the divine. but without proper foresight and planning, the child will wander into the world and fall off of the cliff, leading to disappointment.

🌙✨ Day 29: "the last harvest is upon us. what needs to be discarded from my life?" Eight of Wands reversed, Knight of Wands reversed, The Emperor reversed, Knight of Swords, The Moon reversed. the negative sides of being an Aries, of being me, my thinking that runs too fast, and my repressed emotions. lacking discipline. repressed emotions.

🌙✨ Day 30: "grab a spread that you've been curious about and give it a go!" eh. I'd rather do that separately. let's see what the cards have to say. Death reversed, Six of Swords, Seven of Wands reversed, Five of Cups reversed, Five of Swords reversed. there's inner change that I'm resisting; resisting letting go and moving on. there's an inner defensiveness deep inside that's making me miserable. it's a fight I've walked away from because I lost too many battles. clarification: Three of Swords reversed. negative self-talk, release pain, forgiveness. I need to pull out the swords that have been stuck in my heart and mind for too long.

🌙✨ Day 31: "what do I need to focus on for self-care during this Full Moon?" Eight of Wands, Eight of Pentacles reversed, Queen of Wands, Nine of Swords reversed, Justice. I need to stop acting so fast and try to find perfectionism and enlightenment within a few months, have courage and confidence so that I can release my fears, and find my truth.