sammywhatammy | October 2020 #sacredexcavation challenge

🌙✨Day 1: “how would my ancestors like to be recognized this season?” The Lovers. they want communication first and foremost! I know little about my ancestors the further back I go; most everyone has passed, and once you get to the generation that immigrated to the US, all knowledge before that is gone.
I haven’t communicated yet because I have no information, no ancestor altar, etc. I want to gather what I can, first.

🌙✨ Day 2: “how would my ancestors like to be recognized this season?” Ten of Wands. they want me to rely on them more, regardless of what I thought I need to be “ready” to communicate with them. they want the extra responsibility of communicating so that they can help me better.

🌙✨ Day 3-4: “how can I create ease in connecting with my well and healed ancestors?” Eight of Pentacles. through hard work and study. I need to increase my intuition, my knowledge and understanding of tarot, and get what information I can about them.

🌙✨ Day 5-6: "what are my ancestors illuminating for me to recover this season?" The Heirophant. traditions and cultures that were not passed down to my mother, and subsequently to me. boundaries and constrictions of culture, and how to break them.

🌙✨ Day 7-8: "what are my ancestors bringing to my attention to be released?" Queen of Coins. that I'm not nurturing that immaterial; my bond with them. I'm focused a little on my bond with my great-uncle, who I called Pappap, but not with them in general.

🌙✨ Day 9-10: "how can I make room for myself during release?" Queen of Wands. rely upon my self-confidence, my inner fire, my goddess energy.

🌙✨ Day 11-12: illuminated shadow spread
Top/1) The Potential Self: "if one becomes aware of their maladaptive behaviors and hidden talents/attributes and consciously integrates them with the conscious self, this is the best possible manifestation of the self as a whole." Ten of Swords reversed. I'm recovering and regenerating myself. I'm making myself anew.

🌙✨ Day 13-14: illuminated shadow spread
Right/4, 6, 8) Conscious Self: "these are traits the querent is aware of both positive or harmful or any trauma the querent is aware of being affected by." Five of Cups, Five of Coins, Two of Coins. I have so much disappointment and regret about relationships I've cost myself, opportunities I've lost, and the way my life has gone with little to no achievements that I can put on a resume. though I've adapted and learned and grown, and am even finding lessons from these things, failure still lingers.

🌙✨ Day 15-16: illuminated shadow spread
Left/3, 5, 7) Unconscious (Shadow) Self: "this side of the spread represents automatic behaviors, internalized ideals, and defense mechanisms that the querent may be unaware of acting out or projecting onto others." Death, Three of Cups reversed, The Star reversed. any time I detect even the slightest change, I go within and blame myself and my flaws, and despair at the quality of the relationship and start minimizing myself in vain, irrational hopes that it will mitigate the damage or prevent conflict or loss of relationship altogether.

🌙✨ Day 17-18: illuminated shadow spread
Bottom/2) Advice: this is what you need to focus on or do to heal and unify the shadow with the conscious self. whatever card shows up here is the path to self-actualization and also action most immediate that will facilitate healing. the bottom of the deck may offer more clarification on this card." King of Cups. be emotionally balanced, guarded yet open, compassionate towards myself, and diplomatic about meeting my needs and the needs of others. Queen of Wands reversed; be confident in establishing boundaries.
Middle Left/3) Your Shadow as An Unconscious Identity: "this is the self you act out when emotionally unstable or threatened in any way. this is the you that others see that you do not acknowledge. this can also manifest as what you most often project onto other people, usually those close to you or those that are in situations that are mentally/emotionally triggering." Death. I start cutting off mentally and emotionally, hurting myself before they can hurt me.
Middle Right/4) Your Conscious Self: "this is the way you are aware of presenting yourself to others and behavior you consciously engage in to progress in life. this is who you see when you look in the mirror." Five of Cups. pessimism, regret, failure. but I love myself so much more now, consciously?

🌙✨ Day 19-20: "what messages do my ancestors have for me at this moment?" The Magician. I am powerful, I am in control of my life and my path. I know what I have to do.

🌙✨ Day 21-22: "the wound working in the underworld; how does excavation allow for self-tending?" Five of Swords reversed. reconciliation with myself.

🌙✨ Day 23-24: "what generational cycles are my ancestors bringing to my attention at this time?" Nine of Coins. I have financial abundance like they've never seen, and I should be grateful. they're so glad that I have this stability.

🌙✨ Day 25-26: "in what way would my ancestors like to work with me in regards to generational cycles?" The Devil. my helping me eliminate generational curses and bad habits.

🌙✨ Day 27-28: "how can I tend to wounding in my ancestral and familial ties?" The Hermit. by going inward and being introspective.

🌙✨ Day 29-30: "what lessons am I learning through my grief tending?" Six of Wands. inner relief and celebration.

🌙✨ Day 31: "how has this work changed me?" Nine of Wands. I have found resilience and courage; I am not afraid to climb the steps of learning.